Even cheerleaders need cheerleaders

There are people in my social circle who like to talk to me to enlighten their mood.  I'm the cheerleader who tries to build their confidence by telling them they're smart, pretty, desirable, etc.

The reason why it's not reciprocated is because people think I've got it all together.  And, for the most part, I do.  But, you know what?  It's not easy to always keep it together.  I don't wake up in a fairy tale.  Sometimes I doubt myself.  Sometimes I have shitty days.  Sometimes I want to scream in frustration as to why things aren't going my way. 

It's hard work to keep things in check.  Not only for my job, but for my constituents.  And I'm not even getting into any extracurricular activities I partake in.  It's exhausting having to be that person for everyone else.

Even cheerleaders need to have a cheerleaders.  I don't care if it's a stupid cheer.  At least it would put a smile on my face.

U.  G.  L.  Y.  You ain't got no alibi.  You ugly.  Ooh ooh, you ugly...

A couple of pounds does the body good

In the colder months of the year, I, like many others, pack on a few pounds.  I like to call it my padding (i.e. winter weight).  Inevitably, it goes away in the spring, when I begin to eat less hearty food and run around more outdoors. 

Strangely, even though I don't feel like I'm in great shape (I still am, so I'm not feigning ignorance), I get more compliments about how 'healthy' I look.  Everything fills out more - cheeks, arms, chest, ass - and it compliments me, even though I don't particularly care for it.  I like looking at myself when I'm lean and ripped, not full and toned.

Thankfully, this look only happens once a year.  Can't wait for the summer.

Soup delivery

Not too long ago, I had injured my knee when I slipped on my floor after a shower.  As it turns out, my feet were still a little wet.  Nothing was broken, but I did feel a pang go through my leg when I moved it such a way.  No biggie.  At least nothing was broken.

When a friend of mine texts me, asking me about my weekend.  His was quiet and he was just making some cauliflower soup.  I tell him what happened.

"Oh my.  Poor guy!  Was the floor wet?  Have you seen a doctor?"

Nah.  I slipped.  Banged my knee against the wall.

"Do you need anything?  I can bring you some stuff."

That's awfully nice of you, but I'm not incapacitated.  A bowl of soup would be nice, though.

"Don't be too proud to ask for help.  I can even take your temperature. (innocently bats eyelashes)"

From that moment on, I knew the intentions were no longer innocent.  There's another text.

"If you have a difficult time getting in and out of the shower, I can help you too.  Just think of me as a giver."

Oh, I know you're a selfless giver.

"I have very strong hands.  I can give you a deep tissue massage."

I don't reply to this.  A few hours later, there's another text. 

"Seriously, though.  If you`d like me to bring you anything after work tomorrow, I will.  You know I`m not nut.  I`ll leave right after I deliver your supplies.  No hanky panky."

I say I'll text if I need anything the next day, but it was a very generous of him to offer.

Sometimes a bowl of soup isn't just a bowl of soup.

Waiting for the right one to come around

There are times when you feel that if you wait long enough, something good will happen to you.  I do feel like that, at times.  Other times, I want it to happen now, even if it's not exactly what I want in the first place.

This is true when I'm dealing with people.  Sometimes I want someone to come around, but our schedules don't mesh.  It's not easy being busy.  But, when it finally happens, it's fireworks (or the equivalent to fireworks).  In the meantime, you wait around, hoping that someone else will show up and just entertain you with a few card tricks just so you're not bored waiting for the divine to appear, falling from the skies.

In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's this:  I want one person who's not always there, but will take anyone who's interested just because they're around.  It's not fair for the 'around' person to get any of my attention since it's under false pretenses.  Still, I'm human and not made of stone.  Even the lone tree that falls in the forest wants someone to hear the crash when it comes tumbling down, right?

I'm still not sure whether I should wait for the right one to come around, because I'm getting rather impatient.

You forgot we already went out

Human behaviour always strikes me as fascinating when stupidity is involved.  On more than one occasion, I've been hit on by the same people who I've gone out with before. 

Now, I know I'm not someone who ranks in the George Clooney kind of awe-inspiring wonderment, but I do manage to leave some sort of impression; good or bad.  Chances are, if we've gone out, you'll know what I look like since I've looked (and sounded) the same for the better part of a decade.

But, when someone - albeit, randomly - asks you how you're doing and if you want to hang out (Did I say I'm single and/or in an open relationship?) when you already have, then I have to remind them.  Ya know, I'm like that.

Some people just can't get their heads (in the case of men, either one of their heads) out of their assholes.  Get it out of there and think for once.  Fuck, have you already dated everyone and are doing another round, just to make sure you haven't missed out the first time?  Seriously.

Yeah, I'm doing well.  BTW, we've already gone out.  Thanks!

I haven't forgotten you

Time flies when you're having fun.  It also flies when you're busy as fuck.  Me?  I've been busy.  True, many people use that as an excuse, but with me, I truly have been busy with work.  No excuse. 

Being the owner of your small business can be taxing since you handle many aspects of running it.  It's not about multitasking, but the lack of manpower.  But, I digress...

I haven't been ignoring the site on purpose.  Quite the opposite; I think about it often.  My issue with updating is that I don't feel like physically writing after a long day (and sometimes night) at work.  Even I need a holiday from the computer, now and then.

Of course there are those who will bitch and say I should've stopped writing a long time ago (or not even write, at all), but I don't care.  Fuck 'em, they're jealous.

So, for 2013, I hope to be writing more for the site.  Not only because I love to write, but also because it has always acted as a conduit for my mental being.  I feel better after venting for 250-ish words.  It's cheaper than therapy.  There's a reason why the site was called Human Nature, after all.

Chinese food is small

The extended family is sitting around the dining table at my sister's house and we're hungry.  My brother-in-law went to buy Chinese food and it didn't take long for us to start chowing down on the chow mein.

"God, why are these wings so small?" asks someone at the table.

"It's because they're Chinese!" says my mother without missing a beat.

God, I love ethnic cuisine.